Contentment :)

Just a little update, please excuse the giant run-on sentence that might follow. 

Spring Break.  Best invention ever.  I remember in the first weeks of school in the midst of panic attacks and crying fits calling my sis-in-law Karla(5th year teacher) and whining... begging the question "will this year go by fast?..."  "will it ever get better??"  The answers were yes, and yes.  She did say something like, when you are in the middle of it, you honestly feel like it's as if time were standing still.. but looking back it seems to have been in the blink of an eye.... I can remember calling and e-mailing Blake at work telling him how I didn't feel myself and I hated my job... a novella later I came across a quote I've come to live by "Fake it till you make it..." and on loving kids that are sometimes not easy to be around... "Fake it till you believe it" :) ...So here I am in March and I can honestly say that some days felt like they would never end..  but I blinked and the year is over halfway over and I'm in the "home stretch," I love almost every single minute of teaching... and God is good.  I would have never dreamed in September/October that I wouldn't be frantically applying to anywhere else.  I already had plans to get out of Houston and never turn back.  Once again, it is March and for better or for worse, I am here...I kind of love my job on most days, and  I haven't filled out one application... I'm content.  Sort of. For the most part :)

I was in the car driving a good 24 hours over Spring Break.  Saw some of my favorite people, in Atlanta, Plano, Houston, and San Marcos... a quick trip to Liberty MO would have brought me full circle :)  I am refreshed, I am kind of excited about going back to work completely prepared tomorrow.  I did some shopping and got a little color on my pasty white skin so I am completely content with going back to work looking nothing like the "Teacher Barbie" I saw on the shelves at Target, but plenty confident!!

I think that life is looking up :)  I have a full bucket of things to be COMPLETELY thankful for.  I am back to being my optimistic, positive and laid-back self (regardless of a few minor hiccups in the fall).  I am a happy dreamer, and a hopeless romantic.  I am a grown up that still feels like a 12 year old inside... but I don't mind it.  Once again, God is good.

So... what's next?

Always waiting on the next best thing....

Lauren  :)

My life as a crazy cat lady...

Six months ago I was an energetic-ish young adult college student, staying up late making mischief(okay not really), living with my best friends, next door to the greatest neighbors ever... loving life.

God has a funny sense of humor.

I have now reached my ultimate destiny as a lonely old school teacher/cat lady... literally.  I go to bed incredibly early, I eat dinner around 4.  I preset my coffee on a daily basis... I use splenda...

Obviously I quit blogging... sorry to the three family members who so faithfully read my stories with love and devotion... I've been busy.

I think my last blog ended on a positive note, the first day of school. I thought my biggest problems were chatter box children.  HA.  These days it is more about kids throwing over their desks, on a regular basis shredding paper, and LOTS of girl drama.  Which I love. I did get an apple one day.. pretty sure it was stolen.  Sometimes.. I dislike those kids. Even so, I love them so much... it's a good thing I'm a forgiving person. 

I would love to update something wildly entertaining about my personal life.. but unfortunately I eat, sleep, and breathe third graders.  I wake up in the morning usually in a panic about making copies or fractions or about what to do if a little friend flips their lid.  I go to school and I usually begin my day with lots of hugs.  That's when it gets ugly... after the hugs.  Sometimes I think it's me... I last about an hour until I'm ready to run out the front doors and quite and then some random 1st grader whom I've never seen will run up to me and grab my legs... "HI MISS EDWARDS!!!!" ... ok ok ... I'll stay.  I pass out stickers and fuzzies and bribes of all kinds... because apparently you can't use the yard stick as a weapon, and I move on with my day.

I've always wanted to be a teacher.  I've wanted to be a teacher since I was four years old and I used to play school in my bedroom.  I still want to be a teacher, it's still my dream.  I'm still in love with kids... BUT writing mean notes home is not as fun as it was when I was "playing pretend." 

Like I said, God has a GREAT sense of humor. :)

It's not always Shiny Red Apple's and New School Supplies...

The last two weeks have without a doubt been some of the most exhausting weeks of my life.  In true Lauren form I would like to act like moving out on my own and being all "independent woman" has been ALL it was cracked up to be.  I do things like that to avoid "I told you so" like comments... but... seriously EVERYONE ELSE WAS RIGHT!  All the "Don't wish your college year's away because they are the best of your life..." or the "You think things are hard now! Just wait until you hit the REAL WORLD!"  I can't avoid those type statements or tell people it's been a dream situation, because I've called almost every person I know in tears, and I've had more than 5 I Want MY MOMMMY breakdowns. It's been a definite adjustment, but I'm here and I'm doing it, and eventually it will all become comfortable.

Anyhow, today was my first day of school-- and even though the last couple of weeks have been overwhelming I was feeling suspiciously confident this morning.  The day went well overall... after a couple of power struggles and some SERIOUS behaviour issues.  I learned a new term today called "Apple-Tree" syndrome that I would like to go into detail about but I probably shouldn't blast my opinions all over the Internet since I work for the government now(sort of), and I'm currently without Teacher Liability Insurance.  To say the least, I am the next Hillary Swank character in Freedom Writers... My goal after the crazy day I've had is to eventually write a book about this year in which  will eventually become a Box Office Hit!  I feel strangely energized by emotionally disturbed, misbehaving children who have absolutely no respect for me or their peers... because hey... who doesn't love a challenge?

Let's just say that tomorrow I'm going with the "Don't Smile For the First 30 Days" theory!!

Eat, Sleep, Teach.

"When are you gonna blog again, you haven't updated in a while?...and your last blog was boring." - Jennifer

Apparently my last blog was boring... and I'm beginning to realize more and more that this is actually not a "blog."  This is a place where I go and type funny stories about my family.. TO my family...

Basically I could type a mass e-mail to my family and save them the trouble of having to call each other(mainly Aunt Judy and my mom) to say "Lauren has updated her blog."

Even so I would like to think that one day my stories will be famous and maybe be made into a book or a movie like Julie & Julia... though I think that would require a constant theme of some sort.

Anyway... I'm blogging because I'm on Spring Break.  It's pretty much the only time I've had to do any writing since January 25th.  The day my social life bit the dust.

I've been Student Teaching, up at 5 AM down for the count by 8:30 every evening... and weekends?  They fly by...filled with lesson plans and the only real "adult" (if you consider 20-somethings adults) conversations I get all week... so blogging?  No time. Until now.

Student Teaching is going really well! I like my school, my cooperating teacher, and LOVE my kids.  First graders say the funniest things and they are really sweet! I love first grade curriculum, they are a lot more self sufficient than Kindergarteners although I do love some 5-6 yr olds.  I have a new story every day and I am really excited about being able to have my own classroom and lets be honest.. a paycheck. 

So yeah, that's pretty much my life right now! Teach, sleep, fill out job applications.. and try and remember to eat sometime in those free moments.  I complain a lot, but I do love the structure and routine of it all! I value my free time with family and friends a lot more.  AND I'm excited about the next 6 months of my life, although I have NO clue where I'll be! 

AND I promise, the next time I think of something ironic or even remotely funny to blog about I WILL! It's just that usually all those ideas come from my mom.. and I'm pretty sure she's sick of bein ragged on... which means I'm all out of material. :)

Until then.

Decisions... Decisions...

Flashback:

Four years ago, I was a Senior in High School. And here comes the cliche statement--- Sometimes I think about high school and it seems like it was just last week, but other days it feels like a lifetime ago. I've been thinking about where I was at four years ago a LOT lately, and I think it's because I'm in a very similar place right now. I'm about to face some pretty big decisions. In a lot of ways, I know exactly what I want to do with my life. I've always been confident in that way. Four years ago, I knew I wanted to be a teacher and I wanted to go to a "big" school. Because of this I ignored the advice of my mom, and the constant requests that Daddy Troy made for me to attend Texarkana College, and I began to apply to such places. Baylor, Texas A&M ... and as a last resort Texas State(they had a good education program... it was too far away... but it made for a good fallback). The acceptance letters started rolling in around March, and during Spring Break my mom and I started making college visits. At this point I was over the idea of Baylor(too expensive), and pretty dead set on A&M. Even so we took off to Waco, stopped for one last visit, and kept driving to San Marcos...just in case I had a change of heart.



The one thing I can say for myself as a high school student is that I was in a good place as far as my faith was concerned. I was praying like crazy for God to show me where I was supposed to be, yet I was pretty positive that my goody-goody image was no match for "The Biggest Party School in Texas..." Who is it that says God has an interesting sense of humor? ...I toured Texas State and fell in love, and later that day as we drove home to East Texas through College Station, I took a five second look at the towers of concrete that make up Texas A&M, and told my mom to keep on driving... I had made my decision.



Here I am four years later, wrapping up what most people call "the best years of their life." Once again cliche, but I totally agree. The "Biggest Party School in Texas" turned out to be a place where I have grown more in my relationship with God than I could've ever imagined. Brother Joe's standard quote "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life," has definitely taken precedence in the last four years. I've been well taken care of in that area.

For instance, I went potluck for my room mate freshman year. Terrified, I waited for months to receive word of my crazy goth, party-loving, pot smoking room mate... Only to meet Brittany Oskey, my own personal Barbie-Doll who's first statement to me after introducing herself was a long explanation about how she was a christian and she wouldn't be interested in the party scene. Believe it or not, I met more people like her... she wasn't the only one! ...Confused? "You mean you didn't have to hand out tracks to everyone you met in your dorm? ...Seriously?! There are Christians there?!" I know right! What happened to that four-year-long party I thought I was going to be a part of!?



Over the next few months I realized that not only were their "good" people at Texas State, but there were incredible people. The people I have become closest to are the most genuine people I've ever known, and the close friends I've made are like my family away from home.



SO- contrary to a lot of Atlanta, Texans belief.... I did not move off to San Marcos and become a heathen. I am still a self proclaimed goody-two-shoes, and I take complete and utter pride in the fact that I almost never break the rules--- AND I still love Jesus.. maybe even more than I did when I left!



Flash Forward:

Long story long... I am back to decision making. Right now I am stuck between two lives. One being a life I left four years ago. The only difference is that when I left Atlanta, I knew it would pretty much be the same when I came back. I knew my family would greet me every holiday, and that when I came home for breaks I would see all the friends I was leaving behind. Therefore, even though I was sad to leave, I knew that life would be waiting in the wings to welcome me home if I ever wanted to go back. The life I am about to leave is not so stationary. The family I am leaving here will scatter all over Texas... possibly farther. I WILL keep in touch with my best friends.. but for how long until it becomes impossible? This is something that is pretty much haunting me these days... I don't like to think about it at all.



Here is where I am at right now... a little freaked out, on the verge of applying for jobs... and possibly grad-school... who knows. I mean it's 2 am and I'm blogging about being freaked out and decision making... so obviously it's on my mind a lot.



BUT, there is one thing that allows me to take a deep breath and feel the panic lift. That is looking back to four years ago and seeing how God picked me up and placed me right where I needed to be, right where he wanted me. I think of how I stepped onto Texas State campus and I felt a huge sense of relief in knowing that the path was right in front of me...



As I wrap up my last semester of college classes wondering where the heck the last four years of my life went... I wait. I wait on that job interview, or the graduate program acceptance, or maybe a phone call where I get that same feeling that maybe I should turn down THIS road....yeah... I kinda hope that happens pretty soon.

Until then.



For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:11-13

I forgot to say Thanks... :)

Thanksgiving was Thursday, and I spent the entire week in Atlanta hanging out with my parents and extended family.

There are three things I missed about San Marcos this week-besides the obvious.. roommate, friends.. etc. Those three things are: Cable, High Speed Internet, and good Cell Phone Service! The more and more I thought about those things today on my drive home, the heavier my foot got. Before I knew it, my 6 and 1/2 hour drive turned into a 5 and 1/2 hour drive... and here I am back in my cozy San Marvelous apartment holed up in my room on the computer.

I quickly unpacked in my own very messy unorganized way, showered, ate... and finished the homework I never really worked on this week. Now what? Of course... a Thanksgiving Blog!

The sad thing is that I started to think about all the funny things that happened over Thanksgiving and I realized that nothing I did was at all "Thanksgivingy." Besides the enormous amounts of food and family, I realize that this year I did not once observe the actual meaning of the holiday. I didn't think about the Indians or the Pilgrims.. I didn't sing any Turkey songs from my preschool days... and not ONCE did I think about what I am Thankful for. So here I am a few days late... giving thanks!

1. I am thankful for my friends, that make me laugh everyday! It never fails that on the day I decide I am going to be ticked off at one of my room mates, or give up on one of my close friends... that they seek me out and make me smile. I then forget anything they ever did to make me the slightest bit irritated!! ...I am also thankful that none of them have ditched me for being far more irritating than they ever thought about being ;)

2. I am thankful for my parents who take great care of me! I am very lucky to have parents that have sacrificed a lot for me to have almost everything I could ever want or need! I'm a bit spoiled in that way!!

3. I am thankful for my brothers and my sisters-in-law, I couldn't ask for better role models and friends! I am ESPECIALLY thankful for them this year because they've given me two beautiful nieces and a darn cute nephew whom I love VERY much!

4. I am incredibly thankful for my extended family... there are soo many of them, and they are all very different... and VERY special to me! ...Some more loud and entertaining than others! I am thankful for all the memories that I have of holiday traditions, birthday gatherings, and everthing in between! .... & it just keeps growing!

5. Most importantly, I am thankful for a God who has blessed me with all these things! I am so glad that he has placed me exactly where I am meant to be in this world with these people and this life. Four years ago I was in exactly the same position I am in now, about to graduate high school and clueless about where my life was headed. Look how well that turned out for me! I can't wait to see what he has in store for the next leg of my life :) I am thankful for him because I know I can place my life in his hands and trust him to put me exactly where I need to be!


OK. Now that I've been all sugary and sweet...it's time to move on! It is time to move on because in the midst of my forgetting to be thankful, I was busy visiting with family on Thursday. So now it is time to share, and I'm sorry in advanced-because as you know, I can be inappropriate... & I do not filter :)

Thanksgiving 2009...

My mom, my dad, and I were loners this year and we all went to Aunt Judy's to have our feast with the Griffin side of the family. There were 10 kids under the age of 13, and somewhere in the ballpark of 15-20 adults...

I can't really blog about the whole day in detail because details are fuzzy and the days are running together... so I will bullet the quick bits of what I remember.

• The Cowboys won
• I put on an Aggie jersey that smelled like attic to irritate Flint...
• I found Carson on the roof
• Jana and I spotted Carson on a haystack..little did we know that he was being chased by Brown Sugar... who was really named "Classy," and he may have had to change his underwear sometime after that.
• Jennifer invaded my personal space... a few times.
• Jana may or may not be a MILF
• Mallory has retarded strength... (pet a puppy... kill a puppy), and I found her in a tree.. more than once.
• There was a lot of food..

....and it was good.

....and I did filter a little bit

The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us to become our best while looking our worst. -Marge Kennedy

Jennifer Jo

I'm 4 years old... home from preschool... pacing the halls of our new house. Jason comes in. I am thrilled! Not because Jason is home, but because I know how he got home. He rode home from school with Jennifer, my cousin. I run down the hall to stand on top of the toilet and peer out the window. White Nissan? Check! Sound familiar? I wrote about this is my "Aunt Judy's Back Porch" blog. Since then I have received a specific request to elaborate. ;)

So the series of events go like this... I ask my mom if I can go visit.. she says no, and I call Aunt Judy who says I can come. She puts Macbeth away and I run down the trail. That is where I spent the rest of the day pestering my cousin. I would run into her room(and this is where you can start to be amazed by the things I can remember from my days as a four year old). She had floral wallpaper and a pink striped bedspread and she had 'Good Luck' and 'Congrats' balloons all over her ceiling! She had her megaphone and gigantic pompoms in the corner and I would play with them until I absolutely drove her nuts and my mom forced me to come home.

Other than the people in my immediate family, Jennifer was probably the most influential person in my life when I was little. This might explain a lot about my personality as I am very influenced by the people around me. Because of this I tend to have multiple personalities. I think that the portion of my personality that comes from Jennifer is the portion that allows me to laugh out loud in a room full of people.. REALLY loud with no reservations. Or to say what I think without being self conscious about how other people will react. These are personality traits that I learned because that is the kind of person Jennifer is, she is confident... and I am very proud to hold a peice of that kind of confidence even if it is just a very small peice!

I spent most of my summers with Jennifer. She babysat me during the days while my mom worked. I would start my day at her house and when lunch time came she would either make me Kraft Blue Box Macaroni and Cheese, or she would bribe me to call Grandmommie and see what she was making for lunch(this worked because I was the youngest and I was impossibly cute, so we always got an invitation). After we ate, we would usually get ready to go the Indian Hills Country Club and I would get ready really fast and then sit in the bathroom impatiently while Jennifer primped and shaved her legs. We would head out to the country club where Jennifer would slather me excessively in sunscreen and then make me wait forever at the side of the pool watching all my friends play as it dried. Eventually I could pull on my floaties and jump in. I would swim until my fingers and toes pruned... and when I took breaks she would send me to the Pro-Shop to get her snacks... I never wanted to leave! As summers went on Jennifer decided I needed to become brave and jump off the diving board like all my friends. I was so scared and she would swim under and catch me... until she decided I should learn to jump off by myself, and she pushed me. I still have issues jumping off diving boards.

Something I didn't notice as a little girl paddling around in floaties at the country club was the looks Jennifer got from all the little boys I hung out with. They know her as 'Jennifer Jo.' If you've ever seen The Sand Lot then you'll remember the boys at the city pool and their infatuation with Wendy Peppercorn. Jennifer Jo was the Wendy Peppercorn of my pool. When she wasn't sunbathing in the summer she was cheering for the Atlanta Rabbits as these same boys ogled her from the stands, I wanted so badly to be a cheerleader just like Jennifer.... and I made myself her permanent sidekick, attached at the hip.

We went to the Forrest Festival together, she took me shopping, we got snow cones, occasionally I got to spend the night at her house, and we fought... a lot. I later realized that 75% of the time my mom was paying her to watch me. I like to think that she hung out with me because she liked having me around.

Well over a decade later I'm still close with my 'big cousin' but these days I consider her much more of a close friend than an idol! I love going home and visiting with her, and my extended family and watching her three beautiful kids grow. In them, particularly her middle child... I see a bit of a role reversal as I pull my car up her driveway and watch a pair of big brown eyes peering out the window and then immediately run out to greet me. I currently have 5 saved voicemails on my cell from the very person behind those big brown eyes. "Hey Lauren? It's me. Umm... I was just wondering when you were coming to my house... I was just gonna let you know... ok bye.. umm this is Maddie."