God's Pencil.

I wrote this little blurb in my journal my sophomore year of college. I read this quote by Mother Teresa and wanted to write it down... ironically my pen was not working and I scribbled for a while.. licked the tip of it.. blew on the end... and then got completely inspired.. I wrote a pretty spastic entry in my journal and later typed it up.

Later I posted it on Myspace and one of my brothers called me the next Ann Lamott, and I blew it off because I have no idea who that is. Later I discovered Ann Lamott and realized she is a pretty incredible Christian author of sorts! So I am now pretty flattered by this comment and I'm going to share this little excerpt of my life with you! Enjoy ;)



Have you ever had an annoying, uncooperative pen? I have had many, partly because I'm cheap and that's all I buy, and partly because any nice pen I buy has been lost, or "borrowed." For those reasons, I have only obnoxious pens. You see, I like to write... I write stories all the time. They are usually ridiculously juvenile and poorly written with multiple spellings errors, nevertheless when I get a thought in my mind; I run to a desk or table grab whatever paper and whatever pen is available and jot down my idea. I do this so that later I can write my "masterpiece." Here is my dilemma, 99.9% of the time the pen I grab doesn't work. I am convinced this is because the pen is lazy... it has the ability to work, it just chose not to. I've never seen myself as a writing utensil until now.

I see myself as one of those Bic pens that you can buy for a dollar in bulk. The Bic pen has about three and a half inches of ink in its little ink tube. It looks strong, like it has the ability to write a novel, I think it could. However, sure as the writer sits down to begin his work, this pen stops working on page two. At this point the writer tears off a piece of scratch paper and scribbles on it, normally the first time this happens the pen will throw out some ink within seconds. The writer then takes his pen back to his work, and it NEVER fails, writes two words and the pen gives out. Does the writer toss out the pen and go find a new one? No, he keeps working with that pen, pushing down on the paper, scribbling, tapping, and squeezing every possible ounce of ink out of that pen. He could have used a better pen, there are a lot of better pens out there, but he chose that one.

"I am only the pencil in God's hand, God writes through us, and however imperfect instruments we may be, God writes beautifully." -Mother Teresa