Decisions... Decisions...

Flashback:

Four years ago, I was a Senior in High School. And here comes the cliche statement--- Sometimes I think about high school and it seems like it was just last week, but other days it feels like a lifetime ago. I've been thinking about where I was at four years ago a LOT lately, and I think it's because I'm in a very similar place right now. I'm about to face some pretty big decisions. In a lot of ways, I know exactly what I want to do with my life. I've always been confident in that way. Four years ago, I knew I wanted to be a teacher and I wanted to go to a "big" school. Because of this I ignored the advice of my mom, and the constant requests that Daddy Troy made for me to attend Texarkana College, and I began to apply to such places. Baylor, Texas A&M ... and as a last resort Texas State(they had a good education program... it was too far away... but it made for a good fallback). The acceptance letters started rolling in around March, and during Spring Break my mom and I started making college visits. At this point I was over the idea of Baylor(too expensive), and pretty dead set on A&M. Even so we took off to Waco, stopped for one last visit, and kept driving to San Marcos...just in case I had a change of heart.



The one thing I can say for myself as a high school student is that I was in a good place as far as my faith was concerned. I was praying like crazy for God to show me where I was supposed to be, yet I was pretty positive that my goody-goody image was no match for "The Biggest Party School in Texas..." Who is it that says God has an interesting sense of humor? ...I toured Texas State and fell in love, and later that day as we drove home to East Texas through College Station, I took a five second look at the towers of concrete that make up Texas A&M, and told my mom to keep on driving... I had made my decision.



Here I am four years later, wrapping up what most people call "the best years of their life." Once again cliche, but I totally agree. The "Biggest Party School in Texas" turned out to be a place where I have grown more in my relationship with God than I could've ever imagined. Brother Joe's standard quote "God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life," has definitely taken precedence in the last four years. I've been well taken care of in that area.

For instance, I went potluck for my room mate freshman year. Terrified, I waited for months to receive word of my crazy goth, party-loving, pot smoking room mate... Only to meet Brittany Oskey, my own personal Barbie-Doll who's first statement to me after introducing herself was a long explanation about how she was a christian and she wouldn't be interested in the party scene. Believe it or not, I met more people like her... she wasn't the only one! ...Confused? "You mean you didn't have to hand out tracks to everyone you met in your dorm? ...Seriously?! There are Christians there?!" I know right! What happened to that four-year-long party I thought I was going to be a part of!?



Over the next few months I realized that not only were their "good" people at Texas State, but there were incredible people. The people I have become closest to are the most genuine people I've ever known, and the close friends I've made are like my family away from home.



SO- contrary to a lot of Atlanta, Texans belief.... I did not move off to San Marcos and become a heathen. I am still a self proclaimed goody-two-shoes, and I take complete and utter pride in the fact that I almost never break the rules--- AND I still love Jesus.. maybe even more than I did when I left!



Flash Forward:

Long story long... I am back to decision making. Right now I am stuck between two lives. One being a life I left four years ago. The only difference is that when I left Atlanta, I knew it would pretty much be the same when I came back. I knew my family would greet me every holiday, and that when I came home for breaks I would see all the friends I was leaving behind. Therefore, even though I was sad to leave, I knew that life would be waiting in the wings to welcome me home if I ever wanted to go back. The life I am about to leave is not so stationary. The family I am leaving here will scatter all over Texas... possibly farther. I WILL keep in touch with my best friends.. but for how long until it becomes impossible? This is something that is pretty much haunting me these days... I don't like to think about it at all.



Here is where I am at right now... a little freaked out, on the verge of applying for jobs... and possibly grad-school... who knows. I mean it's 2 am and I'm blogging about being freaked out and decision making... so obviously it's on my mind a lot.



BUT, there is one thing that allows me to take a deep breath and feel the panic lift. That is looking back to four years ago and seeing how God picked me up and placed me right where I needed to be, right where he wanted me. I think of how I stepped onto Texas State campus and I felt a huge sense of relief in knowing that the path was right in front of me...



As I wrap up my last semester of college classes wondering where the heck the last four years of my life went... I wait. I wait on that job interview, or the graduate program acceptance, or maybe a phone call where I get that same feeling that maybe I should turn down THIS road....yeah... I kinda hope that happens pretty soon.

Until then.



For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. -Jeremiah 29:11-13